 After
enduring many years of infertility treatment, we reached the end of our rope one
September afternoon. The doctor had called to tell us that the in vitro treatment
that cost us close to $7500 had failed. We could keep going, but there was less
than 10 percent chance of success.
I had to do something so I wouldn't
feel so powerless. I looked in the yellow pages for adoption agencies. I had done
it once before and even attended a few meetings, but either I wasn't ready or
hadn't found the right agency. There was one agency I hadn't called because its
main office was in Vermont and we lived in New York. I mistakenly thought we couldn't
work with them because of where we lived. The voice on the other end of the phone
was so kind and caring that I could have crawled into the wire. She explained
that after sending us some information, the first step was to attend a Get Acquainted
Workshop in Vermont. I was more hopeful and excited than I had been in years.
When I asked when the next workshop was and how to register, she explained that
I had to wait three months. I was devastated! An hour or two later, I got a phone
call. FIA called me back and the staff person threw me a life preserver when she
said; I know it's last minute but we got a cancellation for our upcoming workshop;
it's in two days! I excitedly registered on the spot and prepared to tell my husband
when he got home from work! I met him at the door with the old good news,
bad news. He chose bad news first so I told him that the in vitro had failed.
He couldn't imagine what the good news was so I told him we were going to Vermont
to FIA to find out about adoption. I think John was so glad that I felt hopeful
again that he would have agreed to go anywhere that weekend. So we packed and
we talked and we were excited for the first time in a very long time. And yes,
we were SCARED that this wouldn't work either. We told my parents where
we were going. My Mom thought we were going to Vermont to pick up the baby. I
explained that the agency didn't have a baby waiting in its office and that adoption
was very different than when she was young. A woman would have to choose us. On
our way to Vermont, I was worried about being with other couples that were in
our shoes, how would we measure up, would we be the oldest ones there, would the
agency like us, were there any babies to adopt and how fast could we get one.
I also didn't want to bare our very personal story about why we couldn't get pregnant
to a room filled with folks we'd never met before, something we never ended up
doing anyway. We decided to give it a try and if it didn't work out we figured
it was a learning experience and a nice get-away in Vermont. It was the
best weekend of our lives! The other couples we met were unbelievable, the staff
answered questions we didn't know we had, the food was fabulous, and John and
I had alone time to talk about whether adoption was for us. Well it was!
After borrowing money from my brother, we signed up with FIA to become adoptive
parents. Our beautiful, healthy son was born a year and a half later, His
birth mom was a smart, kind woman who was already raising two children on her
own and knew she couldn't give her son everything she wanted to. We met Susan
after she had identified two couples (one was us) that she wanted to meet. We
hit it off instantly and all the things we worried about were unfounded. We had
worried that she wouldn't like what we did for a living, would only want a stay
at home mom (which I wasn't), that we would be the wrong age or religion, or height
or weight. Instead, there were only things in common and we got the wonderful
news that we were chosen. In hindsight, we realize that exactly who we are is
why we were chosen by Susan. We are so thankful we had the courage to make
that trip to Vermont. Life doesn't get any better than this!
Jen and
John | |
